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comforting the bereaved may be full of uncertainty. You want to help, but you don't want to make people feel worse. Sometimes it's easier not to help at all. However, according to Farah Tucker, a licensed clinical social worker with a private clinic in Portland, Oregon, it's worse because you don't know what to say without contacting others. Sad people desperately need support and connection - they don't need to feel lonely. At the same time, Tucker said, "there are things you'd better leave for yourself." Therefore, avoid using these 10 statements and follow the advice of these experts.
Credit: Adobe stock / Livestrong. Com yekes. Talk about being bold. 'even if you've personally experienced losing a loved one, no two have the same experience,' says Jennifer rollin, a psychologist. Brian kaples, a therapist with the new family counseling solution, added that sharing your own experiences can make sad people lose focus. Instead, just listen, he said. Don't think you know what others are going through. " "I don't know how you feel, but I'm here to help as much as I can," Rowling suggested. "Related: 10 things don't say to depressed people, Credit: Global Albina / Adobe stock related: 10 things you should never say to an overweight person Yes, after someone's death, there is a lot of logistical work to be done - checking the will, determining whether to sell the property, and so on. When many people show love by helping to organize practice, schafler recommends not being too impatient when asking these questions. "I'm sure you don't even have time to think about how to deal with the furniture," she suggested. When you are ready, I will wait for you here. " Credit: Photography / Adobe stock according to Darcy Shah, a nutrition therapist and health coach, this is a major taboo, especially in the case of accidental death, when he lost two relatives in the World Trade Center attack, and now consults others on grief." "If a person suddenly dies unexpectedly and goes to work without going home, it's very difficult to sort and store," she said. This adds a burden and is then asked to recall the last conversation. And it's really personal information. Her suggestion? " Don't ask. If he or she wants to share, they will let you know. "I can't stand what you have." For example, the death of a child is the most painful loss. Nancy Keane, who has written books for cancer children's families, says that when people say "you're too strong" and "I can't stand what you have," the bereaved parents will hate it. She said they would ask, "do they say I love my children less than they love their children because IStill alive? " Instead, she suggests holding on to hugs, expressing sadness, and sharing memories of dead children, such as "I'm sorry" or "I can't imagine the pain you feel, but I hold you tight in my heart." "Is it time to go? " Advertisements everyone's grief process is unique." "Sadness is not linear," Tucker said. So setting a timeline doesn't help those in bereavement. In fact, she added, doing so often makes the speaker feel more uncomfortable. " It's not the time, unless the sad person says it's the time, "schafler said, otherwise it will make your friend feel that he or she is failing. Rather than making suggestions, it's better to admit that sad people don't have a specific time frame for doing so. Credit: kiskin 19 / Adobe stock correlation: 11 words should not be said now Advertisements 1. "I know how you feel."
2. "He / she is in a better position now." There are many differences in this sentence, but they all show that a higher power participated in the death of this person. It's also problematic that the recipient doesn't share your religion. In addition, the mood can be disappointing. " "When people are sad, what they need is someone else who is willing to get into trouble with them," she said. They need people willing to say "this is really, really bad" and "I love you" versions. "Let me know what I can do for you." One of the most common phrases that sad people hear, and one of the most problematic phrases - even if it's well intentioned. " Blackmer said: "this sentence makes the sad people have the responsibility to do something. Psychotherapist Katherine schafler (Katherine schafler. Com) suggests being precise about how you can help others. " "Of course, the idea of extending yourself to sad people is a good idea, but it's better to be specific about a task or a time," she said. For example, "I come to walk my dog at 3pm every Friday. If you want to be with me, wait for me in the kitchen. If not, maybe next Friday. "Don't say 10 things to people who don't drink." "At least he / she..." There are many ways to complete this sentence, including "..." No more suffering. " While the intentions behind these words are certainly good, they can be harmful. May Florian, an alcoholic (the highest level of grief Education) and author of "no more embarrassment: supporting clients in the toughest moments of life," said, "what survivors actually hear is, 'how can you be so selfish? "Don't you feel relieved and happy for him?" She suggested that it would be better for one to address both aspects of the problem - the people who passed and those who lagged behind. " He said: 'he will not suffer any more, we are all relieved. No one wants him to suffer. But we will really miss him. "Everything happens for a reason." It's natural to help others understand sadness, but it doesn't help. " Joanne Medellin, a marriage and family therapist at lewood consulting services, said: "when we feel such intense pain, everything becomes meaningless." Schafler added that the family may not even want to know what's going on. " "Saying that everything is for a reason negates the need for a person to be in a state of shock in grief," she explained. Instead, focus on the sad, rather than rationalizing the loss.
6. "Have you decided what to do...? "
7. "You should..." Do not start a sentence with these two words. While they may seem like useful advice - such as encouraging family members to take a vacation, put on real clothes or take a walk - it's crucial that someone grieve in their own way. Schafler says it's important to give the person time to put on his or her pajamas, or to pile up the plates for a while. " That's the whole standard of the course, and the perks explained to her, "they didn't do anything wrong, and it's OK to be miserable after you've suffered such a huge loss, which makes me sad." "What was the last thing you said to him / her? "
What do you think? Have you ever experienced sadness? What is the most comforting thing people say to you? What are the most frustrating things people say or how they behave? Tell us in the comments!
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