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unless you are lucky enough to be your best friend with all your colleagues (and your boss), you are likely to meet a villain among your colleagues. You may have to face the consistent bad behavior from this highly toxic colleague, which will not only cause drama, but also be bad for your face. This man or woman scares you of going to the office and is eager to quit every day. But you don't have to put up with an unbearable colleague in silence. Here's what to do when facing a man or a girl in the office.
Credit: it's not your problem if someone instigates hate and you don't do anything provocative. " Who knows what this is - a bad day, a bad year, a bad life? Jealous of other people's achievements? But not you, "said Helen Chalmers, a therapist. The sooner you realize that nothing you do is worth being treated badly, the easier it is to let this despicable colleague's behavior slip behind you. Listing what you can't control (how the person treats you) and what you can control (your reaction, taking proactive measures to solve the problem) may help, suggests Kimberly hershenson of LMSW. " Focus on the changes you can control and accept the changes you can't control, "she said. Calmly react try to stay calm and resist the reaction. The poisonous man wants to get up from you. If you don't give them what they want, they are likely to move to another goal, Chalmers said. She suggests that you repeat - when this person starts to disturb you, the therapist calls it a "record breaking" response. "It could be something like" thank you for telling me, "" I have to go back to work now, "or anything that's calm, doesn't threaten, doesn't encourage further conversation," she explained. This is your response to everything she says to you. No kidding. Everything. " Listen to me. : every woman should know what self-defense is - credit from an expert: Twenty20 / @ Nao correlation: here's how to build relationships like extroverts if you're shy. Don't chat in the office, instead of making your life miserable, says Monahan. A mean man or girl may tell you how terrible other people are in the office and try to put you on his or her side. But soon, he or she will talk about you behind your back. Instead of being an accomplice of this person, the latter will surely come back and bite you. It's better to make an agreement with yourself and stay away from this farce. " "When you get on the right track at work and let others know that you're not involved in other people's small talk, you make yourself different and don't ruin your future," she said. Eileen Scully, a consultant, said asking for his or her help correlation: 8 ways to immediately sound more professional you may need to take a more direct approach to stopping behavior," said Tara Bradford, certified life coach. When confronting colleagues, she suggests trying to understand why they treat you like that. Focus on the facts and avoid being emotional or defensive. Ask directly, "what did I do to upset you?" Usually, she says, it's enough to make people realize that they can't disrespect you any more. Credit: Twenty20 / @ alexandrovphil Credit: correlation: 7 the friendship you need in your life now. When recording bullies' bad behaviors, do not leave your own written records, and make sure not to leave your own written records. " The combination of anger, emotion and email is deadly, "Monahan said. If you need to vent your dissatisfaction with this despicable man or girl, just vent with non working friends and use non working devices (personal email on your own laptop, not the one lent to you by your companyMail. In this way, if you tell your boss or HR department about this situation, your record will be spotless. Advertisements correlation: 7 serious health threats to avoid in the office. Talk to your boss (or HR) when the situation becomes intolerable, or toxic staff are spreading lies or preventing the completion of work, then it's time to discuss with your boss, says durvasula, using your authentic notes as a guide to your conversation. "Don't let your fears become accusations," she suggests. Define it as "having difficulty working with someone and not wanting to hinder the company's mission and goals." Keep the dialogue facts based. Remember, this is your workplace; your speech is not a therapy class. Credit: correlation: 15 tips for improving work life balance Advertisements 1. Don't think of their behavior as personal.
3. Heather Monahan, a career expert, suggests finding a happy place in the office to relax yourself. " Create a safe space for yourself in your cubicle, where you can see pictures of your family and people you love. Take a walk or two every day. "Taking time for yourself and remembering what's really important will help you see everything right.
[P>] to recruit toxic colleagues could be an effective strategy to remove him or her. She suggested taking the person aside for a private conversation, saying: "I noticed that when we were all in a meeting with the design team, you (showing a certain behavior) would cause my thoughts to be unheard of. I need your help. How can we participate in these meetings in a unified way so that designers can see our overall concept and adjust their design to that? " 'it's hard to get him or her to refuse to help you by focusing on getting better business results,' she says. Saying it will also let the offender notice that you are aware of this behavior and how it affects the success of others. 6. "To stand up for yourself
7. If this person really messes up your life, limit the time you spend with him or her, especially if they're at a higher level, Scully said. If he or she is in a position of power or influence, and you are not of the same age, the best way for you is to avoid one-on-one interaction, "she said. If this is not possible, try to have their peers - your own boss - interact as much as possible. "It's very likely," she explained, "that toxic people's behavior will adjust at o." They're around, and they might get better.
8. Dr. Ramani durvasula, a licensed clinical psychologist, said that if behavior becomes bullying or aggressive, make sure to document everything. " Keep all emails, record the time and date of the incident, and if there are witnesses, try to record some of their evidence. If this situation ultimately requires intervention, documentation must be provided. " In addition, frankly, some people find that if they can at least record what happened, it gives them a sense of control, "she added.
What do you think? Do you have an office bully? How do you usually respond to their actions? Can you practice these skills? Discuss in the comments section!
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